Aandammal - A Born Leader

Aandammal, a fat black lady from a remote village of Madurai district, Tamilnadu is a woman who is to be worshipped. Born in poor family and her mother committing suicide, she took the responsibility of raising her two younger sisters. She used to work a agricultural laborer and as Chittal in building construction work. Her poor family condition forced her to marry Mr.Balu, 20 years elder than her and who had a girl of Aandammals age, through his first wife.

Balu has married her just for her age and did not perform the duties of a husband. He was a drunkard and spendthrift. Aandammal continued to work as a agricultural labourer. She toiled for her own food. Soon she gave birth to a male child.

Aandammal heard about the women self help groups functioning in her village, but was always reluctant to join. But her credit needs left her with no other option and hence she joined Vinayagar Kalanjiam, a women SHG functioning under Palamedu Vattara Kalanjiam, a federation of women SHGs.

Despite being poor and uneducated, Aandammal had a sharp mind. She never let her problems to undermine her enthusiasm. Also she had natural leadership skills. Her presence of mind and leadership skills soon made her the leader of the women SHG. Then within a year, she became the cluster leader and then rose to the leadership position of Palmedu Vattara Kalanjiam. Selected as a executive member of the Board of Palamedu Vattara Kalanjiam, she became its president. She also learned to put her signature in due course.

Though uneducated, she developed the habit of looking at the minutes books of SHGs and other accounts books. Her natural ability helped her to find the mistakes in the books of accounts, even which a learned person misses. She asked to question the members based on this.

Her untiring work, made the Vellayampatti cluster to which her SHG belongs, from a bad cluster to the best cluster in Palamedu Vattara kalanjiam. Her regular visits to groups, strict follow up of loans, efforts in forming new groups and the rapport she developed with other SHG women helped in the growth of the cluster.

At federation too, she performed her role very well. She by her casual talk filled with field reality, she was able to convince the bank managers to get loan for SHGs. She also follow up the loans for proper repayment which fetched her a good name with the bank.

Always in a humorous mood, she gave her time mostly for the development of the SHG federation. And all these, she did without even getting a wage. Her way of tackling the issues in a SHG, negotiating with people, reviewing the federation staff about their work and sudden practical ideas which jumps up from her mind made the federation to grow.

The federation which was in repayment problems due to housing loans given to rural poor, slowly recovered. The income of the federation also increased and it became self sustainable on its own.

The service she rendered to the federation for more than a decade is commendable by any means. I had the opportunity of working in that federation as Managing Director. Half of my burden was reduced by Mrs.Aandammal. I learned a lot about managing SHG and its members through her. Field visits with her increased my leadership skills and negotiating skills. We worked like a double barrel gun. If we aim and shoot, the target will never be missed. My 4.5 years of experience in that women SHG federation, is so far the most pleasurable moment in my work life, I did not feel like working. I felt like living.

I was able to manage the staffs pretty well and solve any dispute arising between them. Aandammal, being a lady moves with the female staffs and brings even their house hold problems to my notice. We supported them wherever possible. There is not time limit for our work. Like a policemen we both were available 24 hours to solve any problem in the field.          

In return for her selfless work, she expected only one thing- a acknowledgement for her good deeds and a respect which she deserves to have.

The so called educated placed as Managing Directors of women SHG federations find difficult to relate with poor people and with the Board of Directors of the federation, which is the common scenario I observe. Mostly, they dominate the Board and gets things done according to their need. However, on contrary I gave respect not only to Aandammal but all the poor and also the volunteers who are less paid.

Aandammal is the woman, I admire most than my mother. A woman who does not care about her dressing, doesn’t even oil her hair or comb unless during special events has a wonderful talent and wonderful heart. When she passes by you, you won’t even take note of her. But in her lies a great leader.   

Flirting girls with make ups and no brains has to learn a lot from her.

Edging God Out (EGO)-2

I narrate a incidence which happened during my college years. I was Studying B.Sc (agri), then. Of the 50 students in the class, only 14 were girls. Of the 14, 9 were Keralites, most of them very beautiful. Naturally there was a fight among the boys to win the friendship of the girls, especially Keralites. Of the many love stories, only one ended in marriage. That too the boy loved one girl previously and switched over to another girl and they both got married. Hope they are living a happy life.

In the third year, enmity broke between two groups (which started because of a gal) and they started fighting with each other often. One time one group took cricket bats and started attacking another group. Our hostel was of dormitory type. But nothing serious happened. Then we entered into fourth year. Fourth year students will become the member of cultural club and again fight began between two group, for the post of Club secretary and Sports secretary. The fight was so intense for sports secretary that the college management decided to split it into two posts –Sports secretary and Games secretary and each one of the groups were afforded with a post. There were bad and selfish elements in both the groups only few of them, because of whom the problem went on increasing. When we entered the fourth year, selection of Class Representative for the Final Year was also to be made. Both groups decided that the person should be neutral.

There were only 6 persons who were neutral and I was one among them. Since I had a good name both the groups wished that I should become the Class Representative. I agreed without any hesitation. Though I never was in any leadership position I accepted the task for the good of the class. But soon the problem began,

What ever decision taken, one group will support and other will oppose vehemently. Then came a College function to welcome the Juniors. Usually th Club will Organize such events. But one group said that, we will not support the function If Club plays a role in it and that Only the Class representative should handle it. It was later agreed my both the groups. I arranged for the function with the support of few volunteers. But on the stage, while speaking, the principal praised the Club for organizing the function. Even I got annoyed by the background works done by one group. The other group, which did not want the Club to conduct the function, also became angry over me.

Every move I made ended in a failure. The efforts made by me to bring them together did not materialize till we left the college.

I could not forget the incident that happened during the last days at the college. The principal asked the entire class to assemble for a group Photo, which is a usual practice to remember the students who are about to leave. Everyone gathered in the crowd except one group of persons. They of course did this as a protest against another group

I could not stand what was happening and broke into tears.

Later when we are about to depart many came and asked sorry for the incident. Even in the autographs they have asked sorry to me.

But the wound caused was very deep and I am still carrying it. 

BEAUTY AND UGLY

One day Beauty and Ugly went to take bath in a near by river, early in the morning. Both got undressed themselves and started having a good bath. They both enjoyed the bath. After the bath, Ugly came out of water first and wore the clothes of beauty and left the place. After some time, Beauty came and saw her clothes gone missing. She saw the clothes of Ugly near by and understood what has happened. She had no other go but to wear Ugly’s dress.

From then onwards we started thinking Beauty as Ugly and Ugly as Beauty

This is a small story by Kahlil Gibran, asking us to look at inner beauty and not the external appearances.  

Where is my Wife?

I am reproducing what I read in a tamil blog as a real life incident.

Our blogger was fast asleep one night when he got a call to his mobile past midnight.

The blogger said “Hello”

The Caller replied “Hello. And he asked “Where is my wife?”

What? Your wife! Our blogger lost his sleep and got up and sat up What ? Why are you asking me your wife?

The Caller said “I know you are having my wife. Give her back to me”

You might have dialed a wrong number. Saying this Our blogger cuts the call

Again the call comes.

The Blogger says “hello”

The Caller says now in angry tone “Give back my wife or I will find you and Kill You”

The blogger in turn gets angry and says “You might me dialing the wrong number. Say the number you have dialed.

The caller says exactly his number

The blogger gets confused and ask “by the by who said I am having your wife”

The Caller replied “You are having my Wife’s phone number with you. Then my Wife must also be with you”

The blogger gets a relief. He just got a new number 10 days back. Probably this number might have been used by the Callers wife.

He laughs and Says “I just got this number 10 days back, look for your wife somewhere else”

The Caller replies “Don’t Bluff. I know she is with you.

The blogger gets angry and switches off his phone.

Again he switch on his phone by 6.30 am

The first call was “Where is my wife, tell me and no more playing with me”

This time our Blogger thought its enough talking in tamil. Let me reply him in English and says “How many times I have to say? Don’ t  disturb me again. Your wife is not with me. Do you understand?”

The Caller now Exclaims “Ahh! What I doubted is true. My wife has run away with an English Man”

The Blogger replies “You   Idiot I am not a English Man and Cuts his Phone.

Again the Phone rang and the Caller this time spoke in a soft Voice and Said “See, we not have problem over this issue. Let’s come to a Understanding. You can have my wife. But please give back that Mobile phone. It’s a costlier one and my favorite. I cannot afford one like that again

Great men think great

This is an incident which happened when I went to market a Insurance product. The person we met is a Millionaire. I went along with my senior to meet him. We got a prior appointment over phone, during which he said that he will meet us in his house. Though I have been to his office many times, this was the first time I am going to his house, in which he has invested more than a crore. A very posh house really. When we went inside the house, there was a room, at the entrance in which he used to do his business dealings.  As we went inside I was surprised to see him in his casual out looks. More over, he was having his breakfast (Idli). He asked us to excuse him and he carried the empty plate by himself and left the room. Then he came back wiping his hands.

We have already briefed him the purpose of our visit. We had a target in our mind, getting not less than Rs1,00,000/- premium from him. Before sitting in his chair he opened the near by locker and pulled out some documents. Then he spread them in front of us.

He said “these are the different policy documents in my name, my spouse name and my son’s name . We each have a policy of more thaan two crores” I think its already sufficient. What you want me to  do?

What a way to say no

We said that taking a policy for an additional one crore is not at all a matter for him and that it will in turn only be useful for him

We were about to hand over him a delivery order for 1000 tonnes of urea (urea was in great demand at that him), neglecting the request of other small dealers. That was the right time for us to press him for policy and we know we won’t get such an opportunity again.

Suddenly he came up with an Idea that he will take a policy in the name of her son’ s  wife ( his daughter in law) who just got married last month. The idea was good to us, but we had a constraint.  For making a investment of Rs100000, the policy holder should be a income earner and his daughter in law is just a house wife.

The man opposite to us just laughed and said. I will give an employment to her. Any way I have to transfer some of my earnings in her name. Saying this he asked us to come next week.

The man keeps his promises. So we agreed and came back to him next week. Her daughter in law was appointed in one of his business units as Managing Director by the time. So we completed the formalities and made the policy.

We understood why he could earn good income and run his business with success. He has a very sharp mind, he leads a simple life and respects people. Though business is always in his mind, he never misses an opportunity to treat people in right way.

His daughter in law must also have got pleased with the responsibility given

Great men think great

        

INSURANCE AND INVESTMENT

I am not a Financial Consultant by profession. Also I do not invest or save much. But with my little knowledge I try to give some ideas about investment.

1.      The first amount spent on your salary should be savings. I never did that and hence I know its drawbacks. Sometimes, when I am need of urgent money to meet the unexpected need, I have no other option except to borrow. So kindly save.

2.    Regarding Insurance do not get cheated by the MNCs and their insurance products, that promises higher returns. Most of this products, called equity linked products (the amount you pay will be invested in shares, after deduction for actual insurances) promises that the amount will be doubled in a span of three to five years. It’s a myth and all depends on the market trend. When I was working with a Fertilizer concern, the company became the corporate agent for a Multinational Insurance company. The CEO of our company and a person from the Insurance Company used to visit the same church and that’s how the deal was made. For some of the products, the company offered even 40 % commission. The minimum premium for some of the products were in the range of Rs50000. Rs1,00,000 etc. Sufficient training was given to us and we started to market insurance products. For marketing Insurance, we should have cleared the exam conducted by IRDA (Insurance Regulatory and Development authority). But the rules were by passed. If I logged a policy, it will be done in some other person’s code.  

We used to target fertilizer dealers and well to do farmers for the policy. The main aim is to cheat them. For eg. There was a product with a minimum premium of Rs100000, for which we will computerized projection of returns ranging from 18 %, 24 % and 30 %.  We will say the customer that he has to invest only for three years and the coverage will be for 20 years or until he attains the age of 60. The amount can be in excess of Rs100000 (even 2, 3 or more lakhs/year based on his capacity). Lured by the projections, they will agree (they can choose the insured amount also).

We will collect the necessary documents and also a cheque for Rs100000. Finally the policy will arrive. The customer will have a utter shock, after seeing that only Rs60000/ is invested. Then he will call us on phone and ask what happened to the rest of the amount. We will reply coolly to look at the pamphlet given on the product and read it word by word. Yes, 40 % of the amount goes as charges under different heads. The customer has no other go to keep paying for next two more years.

Sad to note that even LIC launched similar such products (of course the charges were high, but less compared to MNCs). So is it safe to invest in normal endowment plans, money back plans that comes under different names? Sadly it is also not a good option. Because, the returns for investment will be harldy 4 % per annum and not more than that.  Calculate the returns of any such plan and you will know the truth.

But Insurance is essential. Then what to do? The best option is term plan i.e for example you pay Rs500/year for coverage of Rs100000/ and the money will be never returned. (For coverage of endowment plan for Rs100000 coverage you have to pay Rs6000/year)  Now you will be left with Rs5500/ which can be invested in bonds which gives higher returns, Fixed deposits (care should be taken about the time of investment) and mutual funds.

Insure in your name. Because, its only your loss that will cause a financial constraint to the kid i.e only income generating member should be insured and that is the basis of insurance. The kids plans asking you to invest in kids for their education  is myth. Instead you can invest that amount in a high interest giving deposit.

There is a accidental policy for Rs60/year for a coverage of Rs100000/. The policy is with almost all general insurers ( United India, New India assurance, Royal Sundaram etc)

Health insurance is a must these years, as health costs are escalating. Choose a product based on your need. Go for the Government general insurance companys rather than the private, since their conditions for settlement are harsh ( rarely you will get the entire payment promised). Again read the entire policy guidelines fully and clarify yourself with the agent.

Do not go for a policy since the agent is your friend or relative. You have to choose your own plants for the garden of your life.

Always break your investment like this

1.      Insurance- 20 %

2.    Deposits with assured returns/tax saving bonds – 40 %

3.    Gold- 20 % ( not Jewels)

4.    Mutual funds with good track record in SIP mode – 20 %

The systematic monthly investment in mutual funds (starts from Rs500/month). The advantage is you can buy units at the existing rate every month. Even if the  Unit value goes down, you will buy it at a lower rate and hence it will not affect your profit  much. Provided if you keep it long term and invest in a good fund ( do the trend analysis yourself or seek the support of internet www.moneycontrol.com) Do not go by the advice of the agent alone.

Surrender the fund even if you realize a return of 18 %.  Again split the amount and reinvest if you wish. And always do not invest in more than three mutual funds.

About investing in shares? It is too risky and don’t try your hand in this unless you have a surplus amount that you do not mind losing.

Investing in land is a very good option. Choose a land with low value but with future prospects of growth. Your intuition and careful observation about the schemes of government ( IT park announced, four lane road to come,  other infrastructural facilities to come etc). Check the parent documents, measure the boundaries with your own surveyor, check with the registrar office for any Villangam, existing baseline value of the land and also a legal expert. Beware even sea shores got sold in Tamilnadu by real estate tycoons. Fence the land after purchase if you are not going to sell for 3 or more years to come.  

This for people in lower, middle and upper middle income group. The basic remains the same. 

Finally all that I said is for you and not for me ( ha ha ha I spend a lot and do not save, and I do not repent for this now. May be I may repent later)

  

OUR FARMERS ARE MILKED

Thuvarankuruchi, in Manaparai taluk of Trichy district is in Madurai- Trichy main road. Now with the four lane road in place, that small town is no more in the highway. When was working in a fertilizer company I used to frequent this place during a particular season from Oct to Jan, which is the peak season for agriculture. Thuvarankuruchi and its surrounding villages are known for its Chilli cultivation apart from other crops. Usually the farmers use to grow K-1 and K-2 varieties of chillies. But in the ninety’s the scenario changed. Hybrid varieties got introduced and it was well received by farmers. From 1995, most of the farmers left the K-1 and K-2 varieties, which they are growing for decades and switched to hybrid chillies promoted by different seed companies ranging from Nujuveedu seeds, Namdhari seeds, MAHYCHO and other seed companies. What forced the farmers to this switch is the bumper yield they visualized. The yield which got from one acre of K-1 and K-2, was obtained just from 10 cents.(one-tenth of the area). The seed cost however was high. 10 grams of seed costs more than Rs200 ( I don’t remember the exact price now) and moreover it has to be repeatedly purchased from the retail fertilizer, pesticide and seed shops.

The hybrid varieties required fertilizer once in at least two weeks. Also after just one or two years, the farmers saw that more pests  and diseases were affecting the crop. So they have to spend a lot on pesticides and fungicides. Even weekly spraying became common. But this was not so with the K-1 and K-2 varieties. Farmers switched from one hybrid to other, but yet they have to spend more on cultivation.

There was a innovative farmer, who used to grow 10 different varieties each in 10 cents, pick the best out of it for next season. He was able to do it since he can afford the cost and spend some on research. However, he got better benefits than others since he quickly sensed the problem with one variety and switched over to the other. The other who followed cultivating hybrid Chilli with herd mentality suffered.

Many new Tata 407 vans were purchased for transport of Chilli to Ottanchattiram, the wholesale vegetable market in Dindugal. Farmers used to go along with the Chilli load, sell their produce and get the money. After seeing the money, they used to spend on liquor, food and even prostitutes. The hard earned money never returns to the home full. Not only in Chillies, hybrids got introduced in other vegetables too. In short the production  got increased. But the  expenditure too went escalating and the farmers could not earn much as they expected.

Sometimes a hybrid variety which was so good previous year may fail to perform next year, for reasons known only to the seed producers, causing loss to farmers.

I have to mention about a retail dealer who exploited very well the plight of farmers and this is what is happening in most of the villages. Farmers rely on the words of fertilizer dealer, rather than the agricultural department, since the knowledge of the so called Agri graduates is outdated (Unfortunately I am one among them). The fertilizer dealer is updated with knowledge regarding new seed, pesticides and fungicides since it is his business and thanks to the seed, pesticide and fertilizer producing companies. The market was flooded with different varieties of pesticides and fungicides and their combination, which costs a hell ( in different brands). More than 500 brands exists in Monocrotophos alone, which is a standard pesticide used for almost all crops. New and new synthetic pyrethroids occupied the market, thanks to the Multi National Companies. Their intensive campaign, high dealer benefits and new products crushed the local pesticide manufacturer.

Adulteration of fertilizer is done by some fertilizer dealer. But more cheating happens with respect to pesticides. A farmer will approach, the fertilizer shop sometimes even with the specimen of the affected stems and leaves of the Chilli crop.

The dealer (who haven’t got a degree) have a close look at the crop. Then his mind goes on the stocks he is having and the stocks which he purchased out of compulsion (one particular pesticide of the company might have got a high market value and that product is often linked with another product/products that is less received, but produced by the company in larger volumes).  The Chilli plant would have been affected by a fungal disease. But the fertilizer dealer recommends a fungicide + pesticide + bactericide + a mineral mixture spray or a organic product. By this he achieves three purposes. Higher profit for him, pushing a product dumped to him by the manufacturer and also ensuring that the Chilli plant becomes free of the problem at least for another week. Even if had made a wrong diagnosis, this combination always works. By this he ensures the trust of the customer and his repeated visit to his shop. The poor farmer doesn’t know that he is paying out of this pocket on needless expenditure.

I have a real doubt, whether the plight of poor farmers can be rectified. The utter failure of government extension machinery is the main reason for this problem. Field visits, by the officials from agricultural department are a rare sight in villages. Even if they visit, they are not well received by farmers due to their lack of knowledge. Usually the agricultural department has few contact farmers who are big farmers, to whom most of the government benefits goes. If any scheme comes, they are the first one to grab and do not pay the loan stating many reasons. Loan waivers, benefits such farmers.

While I was working in the fertilizer company, I felt that my education was utterly useless. The college syllabus even now is outdated apart from minor changes. There is no real effort to improve agricultural education. If this is the plight of the university, think about the plight of the farmers. Can their knowledge really grow? Most of the farmers at least 80 % of them are illiterates or less literate. They go by the word of the fertilizer dealer and the hype created for the product by the MNC’s. 

Adding to this is the water problem (depletion of ground water and delayed release of water from dams due to less rainfall) and the problems in marketing. Sometimes the fertilizer dealer himself has a tie up with the farmer. He gives the inputs at credit and gets the output at a lesser price. He even charges interest for the loan given.

Don’t think that you can become a fertilizer dealer, after reading this article. Again, it had huge cut throat competition, and if you are capable of cheating more than others, then only you can survive. Marketing dharma. 

Well, Is there a solution to the problem? Our policy makers does not know the ground   reality and even if they know their hands are tied. Now the fate of Indian farmers is in the hands of MNCs. Farmers are giving up the practice of maintaining traditional varieties and depend on external source for all inputs. Even organic agriculture has become a business.

A dedicated effort to educate the farmers (for that high quality people should be engaged) through high tech extension service is needed. Our media (Tv , radio and newspapers) which  gives sensational and unwanted news can be compelled to concentrate on providing a daily program on agriculture, taking care that this was not exploited by the MNCs to promote their product. Successful and innovative farmers ( not the one who showed a one time success) are there who can be used to deliver the messages.

The message delivered should be interesting to all the viewers.

The job of the extension service can be entrusted to good NGOs with high reputation in the field.

And this alone is not sufficient. Major reforms in agricultural policy, research and education are the need of the hour. 

GOD PLEASE SAVE THE POOR FARMER TO SAVE THE WORLD

Cow does not give milk. It has to be extracted drop by drop. This is a management saying by Promod Batra. Our farmers are milked by multinationals.

     

Eleven minutes - Book review

Eleven minutes is the fourth book of Paulo Coelho I read. I have read The Alchemist, Like the flowing river, and The winner stands alone previously.

I got surprised with the subject of the book- sex and love. I thought Paulo Coelho will handle this subject in a most timid way. But he was open with this subject too, as usual.

No one would have written so wonderfully about sex and love before. After reading the book, I felt that Sex is not a subject of taboo. But is one of the essential needs. But as Coelho rightly pointed out sex without love is of no use. Like food without salt, it won’t taste good.

The story revolves around Maria, who chooses prostitution as a profession, not that she cannot find any other profession, but as a way of easy money. She want to return to her native place as one who has succeeded in life and with enough money to lead a good life. She did not want to cut a sorry figure.

Her beauty and intelligence helps her to climb up the chart in her profession. However, the first paid sex happened to her accidentally. She was called on my one of the modeling agency for a photo shoot with a guy, who actually was interested only in having sex with her. When he offered him the chance, Maria first breaks into tears. However she accepts since the money was big enough for her. Later she lands herself in a brothel house named Copacabana, named after the famous beach in her native country.

Well Copacabana was in Geneva, where she was initially hired with false promises of good income as a Salsa dancer. She after landing in Geneva felt much like a bonded laborer who is paid less.

Maria has made one decision in life that to never fall in love again because of her initial failures and was able to remain so until she met Ralf, a painter who fell for the light in her eyes.

But soon she realizes the true love, with no possessiveness for Ralf. She wished to leave him and go to her native. But the fate had a different idea.

I reproduce below the few thoughts of Paulo Coelho on sex and love as found in the book Eleven minutes.

     

·         Everything tells me that I am about to make a wrong decision, but making mistakes is just part of life. What does the world want of me? Does it want me to take no risks, to go back to where I came from because I didn't have the courage to say "yes" to life?"

·         When I had nothing to lose, I had everything. When I stopped being who I am, I found myself."

·         The strongest love is the love that can demonstrate its fragility."
"We can also allow our Soulmate to pass us by,without accepting him or her,or even noticing. Then we will need another incarnation in order to find that Soulmate. And because of our selfishness, we will be condemned to the worst torture humankind ever invented for itself: loneliness."

• I’ve met a man and fallen in love with him. I allowed myself to fall in love for one simple reason: I’m not expecting anything to come of it. I know that, in three months’ time, I’ll be far away and he’ll be just a memory, but I couldn’t stand living without love any longer; I had reached my limit…
  Generally speaking, these meetings occur when we reach a limit, when we need to die and be reborn emotionally. These meeting are waiting for us, but more often than not, we avoid them happening. If we are desperate, though, if we have nothing to lose, or if we are full of enthusiasm for life, then the unknown reveals itself, and our universe changes directions."
  
  

·         "When we meet someone and fall in love, we have a sense that the whole universe is on our side. And yet if something goes wrong, there is nothing left! How is it possible for the beauty that was there only minutes before to vanish so quickly? Life moves very fast. It rushes from heaven to hell in a matter of seconds."

• "Anyone who is in love is making love the whole time, even when they're not. When two bodies meet, it is just the cup overflowing. They can stay together for hours, even days. They begin the dance one day and finish it the next, or--such is the pleasure they experience--they may never finish it. No eleven minutes for them."

·         "In love, no one can harm anyone else; we are each of us responsible for our own feelings and cannot blame someone else for what we feel. It hurt when I lost each of the various men I fell in love with. Now, though, I am convinced that no one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone. That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it."

·         "Now that she had nothing to lose, she was free."

·         "I can choose either to be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It's all a question of how I view my life."

·         "Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant."

·         "But something always went wrong, and the relationship would end precisely at the moment when she was sure that this was the person with whom she wanted to spend the rest of her life. After a long time, she came to the conclusion that men brought only pain, frustration, suffering and a sense of time dragging."

·         "Really important meetings are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other."

·         "Human beings can withstand a week without water, two weeks without food, many years of homelessness, but not loneliness. It is the worst of all tortures, the worst of all sufferings."

·         "Love is not to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with."

·         "The Marquis De Sade said that the most important experiences a man can have are those that take him to the very limit; that is the only way we learn, because it requires all our courage. When a boss humiliates an employee, or a man humiliates his wife, he is merely being cowardly or taking his revenge on life, they are people who have never dared to look into the depths of their soul, never attempted to know the origin of that desire to unleash the wild beast, or to understand that sex, pain and love are all extreme experiences. Only those who know those frontiers know life; everything else is just passing the time, repeating the same tasks, growing old and dying without ever having discovered what we are doing here."

·         "I am two women: one wants to have all the joy, passion and adventure that life can give me. The other wants to be a slave to routine, to family life, to the things that can be planned and achieved. I'm a housewife and a prostitute, both of us living in the same body and doing battle with each other."

·         "But if I don’t think about love, I will be nothing."

·         "What made you fall in love with a prostitute?”
“I didn’t understand it myself at the time. But I’ve thought about it since, and I think it was because, knowing that your body would never be mine alone, I had to concentrate on conquering your soul."

·         "The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with."

·         A man doesn't prove he's a man by getting an erection. He's only a real man if he can pleasure a woman. And if he can pleasure a prostitute, he'll think he's the best lover on the block" -Nyah"  ( Maria friend)

And what does Eleven minutes mean? It is the maximum time taken for the actual act of sexual intercourse.

Anybody exceeded the limit?

Quotes of Kahlil Gibran-1

Listed are the Quotes of Kahlil Gibran who is also one of my favorite authors. I find much similarity between his thoughts and that of Paulo Coelho. I have highlighted the quotes that I liked very much. Happy reading

A friend who is far away is sometimes much nearer than one who is at hand. Is not the mountain far more awe-inspiring and more clearly visible to one passing through the valley than to those who inhabit the mountain?


A little knowledge that acts is worth infinitely more than much knowledge that is idle.

Advance, and never halt, for advancing is perfection. Advance and do not fear the thorns in the path, for they draw only corrupt blood.

All our words are but crumbs that fall down from the feast of the mind.

All that spirits desire, spirits attain.

And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

Art is a step from what is obvious and well-known toward what is arcane and concealed.

Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror.


But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Coming generations will learn equality from poverty, and love from woes.


Death most resembles a prophet who is without honor in his own land or a poet who is a stranger among his people.


Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.


Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.


Exaggeration is truth that has lost its temper.


Faith is a knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof.


Faith is an oasis in the heart which will never be reached by the caravan of thinking.


For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.


Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.


Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.

Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need.


Generosity is not giving me that which I need more than you do, but it is giving me that which you need more than I do.


Hallow the body as a temple to comeliness and sanctify the heart as a sacrifice to love; love recompenses the adorers.


I existed from all eternity and, behold, I am here; and I shall exist till the end of time, for my being has no end.


I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers.


I love you when you bow in your mosque, kneel in your temple, pray in your church. For you and I are sons of one religion, and it is the spirit.


I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realized, than lord among those without dreams and desires.


I wash my hands of those who imagine chattering to be knowledge, silence to be ignorance, and affection to be art.


If my survival caused another to perish, then death would be sweeter and more beloved.


If the grandfather of the grandfather of Jesus had known what was hidden within him, he would have stood humble and awe-struck before his soul.


If the other person injures you, you may forget the injury; but if you injure him you will always remember.


If you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work.


If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were.


If you reveal your secrets to the wind, you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees.


If your heart is a volcano, how shall you expect flowers to bloom?


In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.


Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.


Knowledge cultivates your seeds and does not sow in your seeds.


Knowledge of the self is the mother of all knowledge. So it is incumbent on me to know my self, to know it completely, to know its minutiae, its characteristics, its subtleties, and its very atoms.


Let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.

Without liberty is like a body without spirit.

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.


Love and doubt have never been on speaking terms.


Love is trembling happiness.


Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.


Love possesses not nor will it be possessed, for love is sufficient unto love.


Love... it surrounds every being and extends slowly to embrace all that shall be.


Many a doctrine is like a window pane. We see truth through it but it divides us from truth.


March on. Do not tarry. To go forward is to move toward perfection. March on, and fear not the thorns, or the sharp stones on life's path.


Most people who ask for advice from others have already resolved to act as it pleases them.


Much of your pain is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.


No man can reveal to you nothing but that which already lies half-asleep in the dawning of your knowledge.


Nor shall derision prove powerful against those who listen to humanity or those who follow in the footsteps of divinity, for they shall live forever. Forever.


Of life's two chief prizes, beauty and truth, I found the first in a loving heart and the second in a laborer's hand.


Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.


Pain and foolishness lead to great bliss and complete knowledge, for Eternal Wisdom created nothing under the sun in vain.


Perplexity is the beginning of knowledge.


Poetry is a deal of joy and pain and wonder, with a dash of the dictionary.


Poverty is a veil that obscures the face of greatness. An appeal is a mask covering the face of tribulation.


Progress lies not in enhancing what is, but in advancing toward what will be.



Rebellion without truth is like spring in a bleak, arid desert.


Sadness is but a wall between two gardens.


Safeguarding the rights of others is the most noble and beautiful end of a human being.


Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.'


The eye of a human being is a microscope, which makes the world seem bigger than it really is.


The just is close to the people's heart, but the merciful is close to the heart of God.


The lust for comfort, that stealthy thing that enters the house a guest, and then becomes a host, and then a master.


The most pitiful among men is he who turns his dreams into silver and gold.


The obvious is that which is never seen until someone expresses it simply.


The person you consider ignorant and insignificant is the one who came from God, that he might learn bliss from grief and knowledge from gloom.


The teacher who is indeed wise does not bid you to enter the house of his wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your mind.


There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward.


They consider me to have sharp and penetrating vision because I see them through the mesh of a sieve.


Time has been transformed, and we have changed; it has advanced and set us in motion; it has unveiled its face, inspiring us with bewilderment and exhilaration.


To be able to look back upon ones life in satisfaction, is to live twice.


To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but at what he aspires to.


Trust in dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.


Truth is a deep kindness that teaches us to be content in our everyday life and share with the people the same happiness.


We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them.


What difference is there between us, save a restless dream that follows my soul but fears to come near you?


Is this world that is hastening me toward I know not what, viewing me with contempt?


When love beckons to you, follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.


When we turn to one another for counsel we reduce the number of our enemies.


When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.


When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.


When you work you are a flute through whose heart the whispering of the hours turns to music. Which of you would be a reed, dumb and silent, when all else sings together in unison?


Where is the justice of political power if it executes the murderer and jails the plunderer, and then itself marches upon neighboring lands, killing thousands and pillaging the very hills?


Wisdom ceases to be wisdom when it becomes too proud to weep, too grave to laugh, and too selfish to seek other than itself.


Wisdom stands at the turn in the road and calls upon us publicly, but we consider it false and despise its adherents.


Work is love made visible. And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy.


Would that I were a dry well, and that the people tossed stones into me, for that would be easier than to be a spring of flowing water that the thirsty pass by, and from which they avoid drinking.


Yesterday is but today's memory, and tomorrow is today's dream.


Yesterday we obeyed kings and bent our necks before emperors. But today we kneel only to truth, follow only beauty, and obey only love.


You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.


You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.


You have your ideology and I have mine.


You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might also pray in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance.


Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They came through you but not from you and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.


Your daily life is your temple and your religion. When you enter into it take with you your all.


Your friend is your needs answered.

Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.


Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.


Zeal is a volcano, the peak of which the grass of indecisiveness does not grow.



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